gendered space -
the politics of immaterial power structures

text of the narrated expedition as experimental film ‘gendered space, the politics of immaterial power structures’, 2020  

the memoir goes as follow :

quandary n°1 - the life portal : in, out / out, in

we can feel a murmur flowing along the lines of your craving
the whisper of our blood
dilating in harmony with
her
we are inside and out
unbearable strength
and blind forces
a push in hours of labor
she
witnessing the vitality of the first breath of the newborn
blood
a scream
the lungs are inflated
and so we can go
now that the child is in the wolds of humans
safe ? intact.
the mother is the in
the child is out
out of the womb
in this mysterious world

we are the guardians of the life portal
this temporary bridge
some see science
we whisper magic
a gate from a world to another
a window
a canal
the doorway of power
behold by the mother and the child in unison

this is so irrationally beautiful and powerful
that men loose their minds
but who cares
the newborn has scream
life is running along barks of humans
the mother sleeps and the child repose on her naked breast
we can assure you
what a graceful night it was


quandary n°2 - history : a succession of events and a convenient storytelling

and so it go on
children grow up and become the humans of these lands
running through Sorrow, Pain, Love and Hope
and trying to walk without collapsing
a child becomes children and groups and cultures
with rules
and traditions longer and bigger than one’s life
one’s become an enigmatic conscious in motion
made from experiences and cultural axioms

and years drift and one’s experience gather people and this become
history
simply a succession of events, right ?

some of these children re-write these events
with the support of the all and through the gaze
of the group
with feathers made of white, male and bourgeois corridors
they record and sign
the big book of events
history
that we learn and are
believing in
the narrative serves
who ?
a convenient tale.

where are the other books ?


quandary n°3 - the Feminine : imposed void, ritualising torpor

I see the little girl being told she is the traitor
and a vulnerable weak thing
who needs to be less
loud energetic smart bossy autonomous independent
but more polite and charming
she is bathing in constraints
trained to perform delusion
in the quiet place of invisibility and
censorship of one’s desires and voices
the child learn to betray herself
little girl study the edges of restraint
she fears her own
glorious potential
I call that ritualising torpor
in the streets of erected towers

and in the name of toxic virility
they raped the feminine

cracks in love
this is the ballade of her ache


quandary n°4 - conquer : imperial evolutionism and ethnocentrism

they said that evolution is this linear obligation
primitive is the other
and the occidental civilisation is the light
the stroke of alterity, this is it
when conquer converses with paternalism
the stem are growing from the blood of anguish
and gold is so gleaming exploitation
abuse
injustice
in the name of the king privilege

this is not over
a shiver of a confused world
one sleep well in a shirt made in Bangladesh
one eat well with an Uber Eat delivery
new faces of capitalist slaves
one deliberate smart while thinking
perilous ethnocentrism
conquer is screaming
for more meat and blood

I see pain and invisible voices
that scream for lives


quandary n°5 - sorrow : earth is one foot in the grave

earth is on the stick
people clapping
flames echoing in their eyes
I can hear the howl of spasms
melting trees and burning glaciers
creatures dying on the side of the
ramping roads of humans
this is never enough
this is one bitter execution
I call it
hopelessness


quandary n°6 - exile : the agora, a private club

it starts with an election
a competition of middle aged and old white men
triumphing privilege and
occupation of lands and bodies

this is the agora
a private club that determinate the highway
burning all other dirt tracks
distributing with oppression resources and status

the agora claim the boat is too small for all of us
and from the wooden balcony
is written the story of the feminine
while wombs are drowning
in the blood of the melted glaciers

an exile it is


quandary n°7 - ungraspable : the immaterial soreness

commonly greatest arduous cramps
are imperceptible
and blood is running trough perceptions
in the streets of urban heteronormativity
the materiality of one’s worlds is also
an immaterial receptacle of signs and codes
symbolic significations
layers of untouchable forces
is identity fictive ?
in this space of incorporeal soreness

the politic is around and within
ungraspable affair


uprising n°(00) - politic : trans/per/forming the individual and collective consciousness

I see a star
neither utopia neither dystopia
authentic resilience
being that what happened can’t be undone
the politic : in between consent and violence
the witch is the portal
please :
a politic : us
a space a trans
per
forming
existences
the consciousness : awareness
individual and collective experiences
a bridge toward a strange cosmos
where many books of dirty tracks can be a read
this star is our world
without the word conquer and
in which rape is banished

call me a dreamer
I name myself
hope


uprising n°(x) - legends arise

a witch once told me
gender violence is contained in the history of earth
with power structures and
sorrowed spirits

she told me
we need new stories
we need new legends
new possibilities
new designs and art
new words

the story is your everyday actions
open your door and
imagine you're on the doorstep of this
star
how does it feel ?
what would you do ?

it is your role
to transform politics
and grow resilience
and sign songs of hopeful resistances
books of experiences
because as long of hope dreams
then the world can stand

I remember now
this witch was
me

  
                                         - Camille Dedenise